ZHELDHANE'S MEMORIES

I'm Zheldhane, I'm a simple person having a simple dream. A dream to be a writer. that's why I decided to make my own website that will show all the chapters of my life, A website that will be my mirror...why mirror?....because it will reflects my whole personality. I want to share all my bad and good times....All my strength and weaknesses....All my failures and success. Im not perfect but, I always doing my best just to be perfect. I have lots of failures that I encountered.......Failures that made me stronger... Every tear that falls into my face..has made me stronger..Many years ago, I remember the time, when an old woman asked me, Zhel, What kind of nature elements will you choose that will reflect to your personality???a mountain? a sky??? or a water????... At that time.......I wondered why that old woman asked me that awkward question?I chose the last option which is the water. ...Why?..because...Water is powerful. It can wash away earth, put out fire, and even destroy iron....Water can carve its way,even through stone. And when trapped, water makes a new path, like me, I will find a way to be famous someday..to achieve my goal in life.To be a famous writer...I will use all my efforts and knowledge just to get what I want........and the old woman smiled at me...... and said "Good Luck" young lady....


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

"Monthsary without Celebration"

August 14...Happy 4th Monthsary "mahalkoh" :(...Sad lang ako kasi every monthsary namin ay walang celebration...Parang ordinary day lang sa aming dalawa...or lets say ordinary day for him...Yeah I admit na nagtatampo ako..."I am waiting for him to call" or any simple sweet notes for our monthsary but like an old times (our 1st, 2nd and 3rd monthsary) for him is like an "ordinary day"....Naiiyak ako ngayon...Kasi as a girl... gusto ko naman maramdaman na I am special to him...na special ang 14 for both of us...pero ako lang naman yata ang excited sa "14"... Kung hindi ko lang siya mahal....Baka naghanap na ako ng iba...yung sweet, yung pinapakita nya at pinaparamdam sa akin na "I am special" na kahit flowers made of paper masisiyahan na ako basta may special gift man lang siya sa akin... I remember when I asked my sister "ate...pag monthsary ba ninyo ng bf mo may gift siya..."then she told me "yes...ofcourse..." kasi for us special day to sa amin....Then she asked me bakit mo naitanong....sabi ko wala....


"I'm not a MATERIALISTIC kind of girl" pero ang gusto ko lang kahit man lang tawag or simple notes pag "14" then tym kahit hindi 24/7 na text basta iba naman sa ordinaryong araw sa amin...yun lang naman ang wish ko... Sometimes...Iniisip ko...Bakit ako malungkot kung kailan naman na mahal ko na ang lalaking to...???? Pero ako din ang sumagot...Sabi ko sa isip ko..."hindi ako masasaktan if hindi ko siya mahal...kasi if hindi ko siya mahal bakit ako maaapektuhan di ba???? Tulad Ngayon (December 14, 2011) super busy sya sa work then nag attend sya ng funeral ng uncle nya...Hindi ko naman minamasama yun kasi important yun pareho....."ANO NGA LANG BA ANG MONTHSARY DI BA???? BABAE KA LANG HAZEL MADALI KA PALITAN".... kaya i promised na hindi na lang din ako gagawa ng effort pag darating ang "14"...para hindi na din ako nasasaktan at naaapektuhan...Noong bata pa ako...na nakikita ko sina ate ko na nililigawan...may mga chocolates, flowers, cakes...gift pag may birthday sila or special occasion...then sabi ko dati sana ako din ganun din ako...then dumating ang time na si ate she naman ang nag bf...every monthsary may date sila sa SM...(playing...)...kain...then i remember na ang gft ng bf nya ay chocolates...may candies...cellphone (touch screen), then binibgyan nya si ate ng pambili ng dress pag may special occasion then shoes...then last gift nya ay pampaputi....


I admit na naiinggit ako...ang bf ng ate ko ay simpleng tao din lang "basta sa shop din lang nag work" pero hindi siya nanghihinayang kay ate...then si pinsan naman spoiled na spoiled din sa bf nya...may couple ring na sila...then lagi din nasa mall at pinamimili siya...Para sa akin wala yun sa mahirap lang ang bf kasi bf ni ate mahirap din pati si pinsan nasa "pagpapahalaga yun" eh sino nga ba naman ako ang pangit pangit ko kaya tapos chubby pa...I dont' deserve to be happy...hindi ako maganda para sa mga special treatment and gifts or even a call...Ako spoiled din naman ako...he bought me slippers na sa sobrang "haling" ko ay di ko sinusuot nakatago sa drawer ko para hindi maluma...sinusuot ko lang pag may date kami (ganyan ko siya kamahal...at ganyan ko pinapahalagahan ang gift nya)...hehe...sana man lang tumawag sya kahit tawag lang...kahit 30mins call lang...haist umiiyak na ako..."drama ko naman" hehehe sorry sensitive lang ako....Basta sabi ko sa self ko habang nasa harap ako ng salamin ay "Hazel wag ka na kasing mag expect at wag mo siyang i compare sa iba...Basta hindi na ako iiyak ulit at mag ko compare"...yun lang....


But I am still hoping na maranasan ko din yung nararanasan ng iba...hindi naman ako mukhang pera gusto ko lang maranasan yung nararanasan ng iba...kahit tawag lang at paglalambing ok na sa akin...yun lang...pero until now ala pa din...nagttxt sya pero "like an ordinary day na txt" hi hello musta love u something like that...well stop na ayoko na umiyak...hehehe....:)            



"Happy Monthsary sa self ko".... :(






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About Me

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Batangas City, IV, Philippines
I am a Libra..and Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them." They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity.